As I rarely keep track of time, I still am not sure exactly how long I've been playing the guitar. Its been 5 - 6 months now, I guess, and I've been playing the same songs over and over again. Yes, there's improvement, I sense an ease in playing that could only have come from consistent practice. Yet I feel that my present playing belies the callouses on the fingers of my left hand. Discolored patches of cracked skin decorate the tips of my fingers, yet I'm not hearing the tone or fluidity I want to. I don't know if I'm expecting something too soon, most likely I am, for I've read that it may take up to a year for somewhat decent playing of the chords, and if you've practiced the same in this period, scales and arpeggios. My whole regimen of guitar practice has been focussed mostly towards playing my favorite songs to know and practice chords and chord shifts. But now, after months of doing this, I feel jaded...
There's a constant conflict within me as to whether to continue playing the guitar or give it up. I love the co-ordination between my singing and the guitar notes, when they sound right, when I'm playing my songs. But in the absence of any more ambition than being able to play songs, I wonder if I've reached the end of this obsession. The guitar is a beautiful instrument, the notes produced by its strings have a beautiful effect...but all this has to be extracted by the player. Most people that have observed my playing seem to like it, mostly the fact that I've made a good bit of progress on the fuel of my enthusiasm alone. However, there's a lot more to playing guitar than showmanship, and I feel the emptiness flooding me...
What will it be? I give up considering.
